Dear Seth,
I'm coming home, Tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday. I know the kingdom awaits, and he forgives my mistakes.
This really reasonates with me. Like when you let a horse out at a full gallop, and you just feel the wind and all the speed gathering under you, I feel myself, propelled forward, excited, content. Shit happens to shake you to you core. Happened. Makes you realize you need to get out of your funk. This life so isn't about me. Its about everyone else in it, and my lot, and what I'm doing for that, and how I'm using my gifts, and God and all that connects it. Funny how when my world is threatened, mostly by my own doing, I feel the steel reserve within me, come out, brace against the world, ready to weather whatever storm is around.
I can't live my life by wanting or what others around me are having the good fortunes of jobs, marriage, babies, and such. What I have is my life and all the good things and people in it. Lonliness doesn't bother me as much, only when it comes to him. I've adjusted to having long distance friends but not the close knit proximity of childhood. I don't have regret. And I don't want pity. I'm my own best friend, that and a certain two year old.
I guess this is my letter of resilience. I love you. I miss you. Today is a day where I wish you were here to hang out and give me a hug.
Love
Shannon
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