Dear Seth,
Remember the story I mailed to you, years ago, the "catch you when you fall" one? At somepoint I will post it up here, but I feel her shadows, creeping round. I look at myself and I see the ugliness crowding out around the white porcelian skin that lies around my inner core and my heart. I want to be beautiful. I want to be the only face he sees and have him have some irristable urge to have me be at the inner core of most things. Not in a way where like its before God or anything sacreligious in that sense.
I see the marks, the scars of pregnancy, the evil trying to cover me up. Just when you start to identify evil, it seems to transform itself into something else. I just want to be myself, believer, rebellion, goody-tissues all in one. Is that even possible? I don't know anymore.....
Maybe I'll be back with some more, but for now, this is all I can come up with.
Love,
Shannon
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